Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Almost the End of a Season

I will admit it. We are almost out of the "baby" season in our house and I am feeling pretty melancholy about it. We are down to just 2 things that "scream" baby...the crib and diapers. That means, Brody is done with everything else...including pacifiers! Two nights ago the "passy fairy" came to our house. She came to get the last of the pacifiers because there was a new baby at the hospital named Matthew who needed a passy (I take full credit for making that story up and lying to Brody). In return though, Baby Matthew gave Brody a Disney Cars TV for his room via the fairy. I think that is way fair! Anyways, the first night was a little rough for this mama as Brody screamed in his crib for about 10 minutes non-stop and all he screamed was "Mommy...Passy!!!!!" It broke my heart, but I stuck with the decision and did not give it to him. After about 10 minutes, he fell asleep and did great. The next night he did the same thing but for just about 5 minutes and then slept 12 hours. He has mentioned the passy about 3-4 times since Monday night and has said he does not like passy fairy and baby Matthew. However, he does love his new TV!
As for the crib, well, we are going to convert it to a toddler bed this week (sniff sniff). He LOVES being in his crib and will say "I wuv my bed mommy." However, he is just outgrowing it. I think with the one side off and just a 1/2 rail on, he will have a lot more space to move around and get comfy. I'm still debating this whole thing as he does NOT try to get out of bed and it does obviously keep him contained so he can't come out of his room, but his personality is such that he would probably just lay in a crib until he was 10. I don't know what to do.
And then there are diapers. Brody will tell me "mommy, I peepee. change me please." He also wakes up 60% of the time totally dry, but he will refuse to use the potty, tell me to keep his big boy underwear in the drawer, and to put a diaper on him. He has NO interest in potty training right now. Again, he may be the kid who is content in diapers until he is 10 (ok...praying that's not the case), but I am not going to push the issue. When Chloe was ready, it took her only 2 days and she was barely over 3 when this happened. Maybe Brody will be ready by the fall. He turns 3 in August.
Which brings me to my next issue. I always imagined that we would start trying for another baby when Brody turned 3. We had even planned that out. However, cancer put a STOP to that plan for a few reasons...a) I am on a medicine for 5 years (3 more to go) that you absolutely canNOT get preggo on as it causes severe birth defects...b) I was thrown into chemo induced menopause and while I have come out of it, I am barely out of it as I have had only 1 cycle in 3 years, and c) I would be considered advanced maternal age (I'd be 37) if we did decide to try when I got finished with the medicine. I sort of hate the term advanced maternal age as when did being 37 years old qualify you for advanced age of any kind?!? So, part of me feels like the baby stage is being finalized here, and most of the time I say how glad I am and how it will be awesome, but deep down I do not feel that way. Plus I keep feeling God saying "never say never dear child."
So, for the next 3 years we avoid pregnancy like the plague, get used to being out of baby stage for the first time in nearly 5 years, enjoy the precious gifts of Chloe and Brody that we have been immensely blessed with, and pray about the future of our family.

1 comment:

6L's said...

true, true...never say never! there are women having children at 37 and older everyday! you never know what god has in store. i'm only speaking for myself here but something about being young and having the baby years finalized as being over is just sad....no matter if you have 2 or 4. there's somethign special about having a baby in the house so i understand your feeling of that sadness and not knowing if this is it. all in god's hands dear friend! love you!